As I walked through my local art supply shop today, I couldn’t help but notice a display for “Gloves in a Bottle”. The marketing on the bottle went straight over my head- far too many technical terms for my taste. Here is a perfect example straight from the product’s website:
The rational side of my inner monologue told me, “How ridiculous!”, but another said, “Don’t you think it’s worth $4.95 to find out if the product is as wonderful as it says? Don’t you think that’s pretty cheap for eliminating the nagging thought that you may have just passed the product of a lifetime?” Thankfully they had a free dispenser next to the counter, allowing me peace of mind without losing any of my hard-earned money. What followed was pure misery.
The recommendation of a “pea-sized” amount was overlooked, and I proceeded to douse my hands in the oily liquid that emerged from the bottle. I began to rub my hands together…and rub…and rub…and rub, to no avail. The layer of grease on my hand simply would not go away. I wanted nothing more than to remove these confounded liquid gloves to no avail, reason number one that liquid gloves are a bad idea.
I left the store and went to Best Buy, where I proceed to try wiping the mess on every available display item within reach, but was once again disappointed. Only after leaving ten minutes later had my hands returned to normal.
Let this be a warning to anyone planning to use Gloves in a Bottle. Do not use if you plan plan to shake someone’s hand, use your car stereo, or touch anything in general in the next hour.
