Start Saint Patrick’s with a Bang!

The Irish Carbomb:

1. take a shot or double-shot glass and fill half-full of Bailey’s Irish Cream
2. fill the rest of the shot or double-shot glass full of Jameson Irish Whiskey (or your other favorite Irish whiskey). The whiskey and Baileys should remain separate. Use a spoon to poor the whiskey over the Bailey’s if necessary.
3. Light the whiskey on fire and drop into a half-pint of Guinness stout!
4. Slam the glass down after drinking mixture in one full gulp!

Read about the historical origins of the drink’s name here.

Avid: Now it’s Cheaper

I have used the Avid editing software before. No, I do not like it. But, the word on the street (and by “street” I mean Hollywood Reporter) is that Avid is changing, and cutting their price.

“The Avid Xpress Pro editing software line will be eliminated, while the Media Composer software-only version has a new price of $2,495, a reduction of more than 50%. The move closes the gap between Media Composer and Avid’s chief competitor in the editing space, Apple’s Final Cut Pro software.”

Oh, so that’s what this is about. Final Cut, which I like much better. But perhaps I will not give up hope on Avid. Chief Marketing Officer Greg Estes said, “We want you to simplify your editing line and we want you to get more aggressive on your pricing.” Hopefully, the software changes will be really nice. Because right now, I’d rather even use Adobe Premier than Avid.

MUSE: No more albums?

According to BBC, MUSE may no longer release albums in favor of releasing songs every few months. Singer/Guitarist Matt Bellamy stated: “I don’t think we’re going to approach the next album like we’re making an album… we’re just gonna make a load of music.” Is this a good idea?

Personally, I believe that music is best in album form, and I judge whether a band is decent or not on the basis of whether or not they can create a quality album rather than one good song. This was really weird to be coming from MUSE, since they have succeeded in recording great albums: listen to Black Holes and Revelations, it’s borderline concept, and best listened to all together.

Lately there has been talk from technology people about the death of the album, due to the rise of digital media. All throughout the past 100 years, albums have been the way to buy music (except singles online and occasionally on vinyl) and legends have been formed because of it. From the mainstream beginnings of the concept album, the Beatles’ “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band,” a cohesive album has separated the mediocre from the great. Many modern bands have perfected the concept, as well, with bands like My Chemical Romance who have a distinct sound for each album. Music is an experience, and full-length albums make that experience more meaningful. But hey, maybe MUSE is either just trying some different or trying to make more money this way.

So, all that in mind, can MUSE pull off this idea? Also, would anyone be as excited to say “hey, the new MUSE song comes out tomorrow!” as they would be to say “hey, the new MUSE album comes out tomorrow!”? And would a song like “Take A Bow” even sound right out of context?

Poster Evaluation

Since pretty much all of the movies in theaters right now either look like they suck or are so overhyped that I don’t even want to see them, I decided “Hey, why don’t I just review the posters?” There is not always a correlation between the quality of the poster and the quality of the movie, but this way, no money is involved!

No Country for Old Men: looks suspiciously like the poster for 2006’s crappy “horror” film Silent Hill.

College Road Trip: I’m not exactly the target audience for this picture, but the unbalanced look of it is really annoying me. I mean the middle is so busy and the bottom is solid red. Yes, that bothers me. It also looks like it’s from the 90’s.

In Bruges: Looks pretty cool, with the violent postcards and all. The only part that I don’t like is the goofy expression on Colin Farrell’s face

Most Likely to Have Been Made in Under 5 Minutes: The Bucket List. Painfully uninteresting.

Well, that’s all, and hopefully something better will be in theaters soon, or at least “Diary of the Dead” will come to my area.

Machete: This time, it’s for real

So…apparently Robert Rodriguez is making a real movie out of the fake trailer at the beginning of Planet Terror in Grindhouse. Do you like this idea? Of course you do! Rodriguez wants to make Machete at the same time as Sin City 2 (which will be co-directed by Frank Miller himself). If for some reason you haven’t seen Planet Terror, here’s Machete.

My Gloves from a Bottle

As I walked through my local art supply shop today, I couldn’t help but notice a display for “Gloves in a Bottle”. The marketing on the bottle went straight over my head- far too many technical terms for my taste. Here is a perfect example straight from the product’s website:

The rational side of my inner monologue told me, “How ridiculous!”, but another said, “Don’t you think it’s worth $4.95 to find out if the product is as wonderful as it says? Don’t you think that’s pretty cheap for eliminating the nagging thought that you may have just passed the product of a lifetime?” Thankfully they had a free dispenser next to the counter, allowing me peace of mind without losing any of my hard-earned money. What followed was pure misery.

The recommendation of a “pea-sized” amount was overlooked, and I proceeded to douse my hands in the oily liquid that emerged from the bottle. I began to rub my hands together…and rub…and rub…and rub, to no avail. The layer of grease on my hand simply would not go away. I wanted nothing more than to remove these confounded liquid gloves to no avail, reason number one that liquid gloves are a bad idea.

I left the store and went to Best Buy, where I proceed to try wiping the mess on every available display item within reach, but was once again disappointed. Only after leaving ten minutes later had my hands returned to normal.

Let this be a warning to anyone planning to use Gloves in a Bottle. Do not use if you plan plan to shake someone’s hand, use your car stereo, or touch anything in general in the next hour.

Cliche Celebrated Short Films

Having been to a few film festivals, I have started to see the same types of shorts get screened over and over and over. So basically, if you make one of these types with any kind of production value, you are a shoe-in to any small to medium festival. However, I do not recommend for anyone to make one of these, and in fact, I would rather you not.

1. The “Drugs Ruin Lives, Kill Baby Puppies, and Melt the Glaciers” Movie
This is basically a glorified PSA–the kind of film where you kind of feel bad for snickering at during the screening because everyone else is so serious. But hey, if you make a film about drugs and/or alcohol and/or tobacco, you can get screened and celebrate by getting really drunk and snorting cocaine.

2. The Really Vulgar Pseudo-Comedy
Have you ever been to a screening where one section of the audience is laughing hysterically (coincidentally the current film’s crew) while everybody else is either chuckling politely or looking around awkwardly? You just witnessed The Really Vulgar Pseudo-Comedy.

3. The Quirky Little Precious Indie
Juno, just shorter.

4. The Politically Correct Documentary
Make a documentary about something that makes you look like a caring person. Some ideas: oil spills killing baby seals, something about someone’s noble culture, etc. It can be about anything really, just make sure that it lasts approximately 45 minutes longer than it should, that a mediocre piano ballad plays behind the opening credits, and that you include some kind of pretentious statement about being more “aware” than the average person.

5. The Black and White Movie
It’s just like a regular movie, but it’s in black and white.

6. The Drama That Everyone Knows Is Going To Win
You stand still for five seconds in the lobby, and start hearing everyone talking up some film they haven’t seen, but that will make them sound cool to talk about. Well, the production value is probably pretty good, maybe it has decent acting, but the storyline will be something like this: A middle-aged woman embarks on a journey to move on from her husband’s death and find the meaning of the universe. It will probably win the festival if not the Politically Correct Documentary or “Drugs Ruin Lives, Kill Baby Puppies, and Melt the Glaciers” Movie, even though everybody liked the Quirky Little Precious Indie the best.

7. The “I shot this with a camera phone, isn’t that artistic?” Film
Much like indie music, the independent film circle has certain people who feel that they are fighting the establishment by using poor equipment. OK, so it’s one thing if you can’t afford a RED, but does that mean that you have to make your entire film out of shots that look like your two-year-old nephew was DP? I love B and C-horror movies, but this kind of thing is on a different level. I personally think that one can fight the establishment more effectively by making indies that are actually….um….good.

To be honest with you, I have made a couple of short films that could fit into categories above; it’s not something to feel bad about. Actually, some films that fit into these categories might be quite good, and even spawn great careers (see Robert Rodriguez’s “Bedhead,” pictured) The whole point of this is to ask the question-if independent filmmakers are trying to break the mold of the Hollywood Blockbuster, why are they creating their own molds? Although perhaps the ones at fault are the festival judges who keep glorifying these non-confirmist conformist films. But, hey, if you want to get into a small to medium sized festival, get some cash, maybe a trophy, conformity doesn’t look so bad, does it? Well I’m off to make a black-and-white boring documentary about the dangers of marijuana using my VHS camera from the ’80’s.

You stay classy, Universe.

Vampire WEAKend

Some bands are born by the blog, and so may they hopefully die by the blog. Vampire Weekend is one of the most recent blog children, along with Panic! at the Disco. Oh wait, make that Panic at the Disco- because removing an exclamation point makes you seem so mature and focused on the important issues. But I digress- Vampire Weekend is nothing more than a novelty employing foreign styles of music that would be better experienced by listening to authentic representations of the cultures. Their eclectic mix of styles ends up being repetitive on many tracks, and never really reaches the fullest potential of any one style, making them an average band that hit gold on the internet.

What truly boggles the mind is that a respected and established magazine such as SPIN would tout the band on its front cover with the caption “The Year’s Best New Band…Already!?” I don’t know about you, but that is a pretty tall order with nine months ahead, especially for a band that has minimal, if any, radio play in my area and no hit single as of yet.

On a broader scale, Vampire Weekend represents an ongoing problem in the music industry, namely the creation of a band through corporately constructed hype based on the recommendation of a few bloggers who heard a recording. The result is a band that releases an overproduced record that they are completely unable to replicate live (I saw Panic live, it wasn’t pretty). It also compresses the development period of the band itself from the traditional years to mere months, not long enough to “weed out” bands that have no potential longevity.

The real test for blog bands will come with the release of “Pretty. Odd.”, though I personally found Panic’s first release much more worthwhile than Vampire’s.

An Inspiring Short

The final product that these three guys produce is nothing short of astounding. This gives hope to other small production companies, and shows how technology is beginning to level the playing field. When combined with the image quality of the newly released RED One Digital Cinema camera, we can expect to see much higher production value in independent film that could rival studio quality releases. Of course, no one can underestimate the power of name actors and promotions, but I for one hope to see a more democratic industry emerge in the wake of new developments.

How to be an Internet Loser in Real Life

*I’d like to preface this post by saying that I’m not a Scientologist, nor will I ever be*

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a recovering stumble addict, but some people just take the internet too seriously and too far. The “protests” organized against Scientology by the internet group Anonymous were a perfect example of the superficial and meaningless causes so fervently championed by those who live through their network cable. It’s just sad to see a group of people who have so little in the way of a real life that they feel the need to insult those who have found a community they interact with in real life on a daily basis- not on the off occasion that they can find time from their busy World of Warcraft schedules.

What is the problem with people holding faith in something, regardless of whether or not you believe it to be true yourself? I’m no Scientologist, and I personally think some of their beliefs are ridiculous- but they don’t bother me, so why bother them? I also value my time far too much too waste it on so useless a cause. What did they gain but media recognition? If you do believe the CoS is a cult, then you would also agree that no amount of pleading, reasoning, or logic will convince them to give up on the organization, and they are the only ones who can make a change.

If you really want to raise awareness, do it by providing easily accessible information regarding the questionable practices of the Church of Scientology and let the public fight your war for you. After looking for Anonymous’ reasons behind targeting the CoS, however, one tends to find a general lack of well-founded accusations.

So please, next time remember that the only thing gained in a peaceful protest is media attention, which is useful if you want to organize the people of a democracy against a government, but not if you are attacking a religion. Then again, who knows? I could be wrong about all of this and Scientology is completely evil and Anonymous will save us all.